Senator Craig Should Resign

Reo: Idaho's US Senator cruises public toilets and Senator Larry Craig gets arrested.
Peo: Here's the deal, the cop knows what the "signs" are when gay men are looking for a tryst in this public toilet because he has been investigating and arresting people...
Reo: For taking stall space from people who really gotta go.
Peo: Yep. So how does Larry Craig know about these signals?
Reo: That right there is enough, Peo, to show it can not be excused by a "wide sitting stance".
Peo: Next, when he says that his local newspaper has started a "witch hunt".
Reo: A witch is a woman. Gay men often call themselves names usually associated with women.
Peo: Yep. Next, Craig protests too much. Even in Shakespeare's time, protesting too much raised suspicion.
Reo: Like when Craig said he didn't have sex with any male pages when no one had said he did.
Peo: Yep. And lastly, he pled guilty, and said in the plea that he would make "no claim that I am innocent".
Reo: Would you plead guilty to something you didn't do? I mean besides a parking ticket.
Peo: Nope.
Reo: Now this is someone you outed on December 7, 2006.
Peo; And you were against it.
Reo: Because there is nothing wrong with being gay and everyone in Idaho already knew or suspected. But you convinced me that Craig had voted against and spoken out against every issue involving the fair treatment of homosexuals.
Peo: There is something wrong with being a hypocrite.
Reo: Craig should resign, now and avoid further embarrassment of the republican party.

Oh how we could spend the Iraq war money...

Peo: Fast trains.
Reo: Yeah, Seattle to San Diego. Boston to Miami. Or at least from some of the major airports to downtown Atlanta, NYC, Chicago, and so on.
Peo: Park service.
Reo: Food and drug inspectors. And product inspectors to intercept all the lead toys from China.
Peo: What about securing our ports and airports and nuclear facilities?
Reo: Sure Peo, if you really want to talk about what would make people safer, then we should talk infrastructure.
Peo: Yeah, infrastructure!
Reo: Bridges and tunnels and roads and pipes and wires and antennas oh my!
Peo: What we could do with the $100,000 per minute cost of occupation.
Reo: As of today, Aug. 22, 2007, we are looking at $454 billion. Billion with a "B".
Peo: What a sickening waste. I'm going to go and nap...

Boycott HOUSE M.D. on FOX

Peo: And I liked it, I really liked it...
Reo: Yes, Peo and Reo along with many pro-choice Americans are calling for a Boycott of the FOX television show HOUSE and it's sponsors.
Peo: This show took a bold and deliberate anti-choice stand in its episode Fetal Position which aired on 04/03/07.
Reo: Not only did it air an anti-choice episode but a stupid, illogical, preaching episode that so much wanted to drive its message down your throat that it dropped the realism and believability that was a hallmark of that show.
Peo: They felt so strongly, that they wrote an created an episode of propaganda that will piss off the vast majority of Americans, some 65%, who are pro-choice. This is a pro-choice country!!!
Peo: Here is what happened in this episode:A pregnant woman is dying from problems with her pregnancy. Cold, heartless Dr. House, tells her she must have an abortion to save her life. The fetus is killing her just like a tumor. House is overruled by his boss who wants to save the "baby". Everyone just needs to try harder.
They cannot fix the fetus because it is not viable. SO they decide to give the mother steroids which will speed the baby's development but put the mother at risk. The mother's lungs are failing but it's OK, she's on a respirator. Now they can get in and perform surgery.
When they have the mother's stomach open, the baby reaches out and grabs House's finger. That's right, the supposedly anesthetized fetus held House's hand and he is visibly touched. SO touched, that House starts calling the fetus a "baby" to which the mother says "That's the first time you called it a baby..." GAG!
The moral of this story is, don't be lazy, weak and give up. If you just work harder, you can save the baby. The mother's health with be just fine, she's probably faking it anyway. Bad lungs? She can live on a respirator while we use her body as an incubator.
Now House is anti-choice! Yeahhhhh! House changed, he transformed into an idiot. What a character arc!
Oh, and Cuddy scolds the young doctors Cameron and Chase for having an affair. "It either ends up with marriage and a family or someone gets hurt." Uh, no. Those are actually NOT the only 2 choices. She goes on to tell Cameron that she will be the one to get hurt because she is the woman. Get married or get hurt. Poor, helpless women...
Reo: It was awful. I was shocked.
Peo: I will research and add a list of the sponsors names later.
Reo: In the meantime, here is a list of the actors and producers associated with this episode that we are boycotting:
Matt Shakman, David Shore, Russel Friend, Garrett Lerner, Hugh Laurie, Lisa Edelstein, Omar Epps, Robert Sean Leonard, Jennifer Morrison , Jesse Spencer, Bobbin Bergstrom, Anne Ramsay, Tyson Ritter, Paul Attanasio, Doris Egan, Liz Friedman, Russel Friend, Steven Heth, Katie Jacobs, Lawrence Kaplow, Garrett Lerner, Thomas L. Moran, Daniel Sackheim, David Shore,Bryan Singer, Gerrit van der Meer.

BSU in best college bowl game ever

Peo: Whether you're a football fan or not, anyone who saw the Boise State University football team knock off a big, tough Oklahoma team came away loving college football.

Reo: Sports Illustrated call it maybe the best bowl game ever while ESPN said it may change college football forever.

Future Fiction

Reo: There's a lot of buzz lately about "Future Fiction" in the book and readers world these days.
Peo: I like that phrase.
Reo: Future fiction or books and readers.
Peo: Uh, both I guess.
Reo: Uh, well said.
Peo: I guess I can't join either club...
Reo: Anyway, Future Fiction is like 1984, Brave New World, Anthem and other such fiction works that include critical analyses of mankind's future." according to Mark Salow, author of Darwin's Orphans.
Peo: Great new paperback.
Reo: Yes, check it out. Anyway, it is a great term for a genre of fiction that I have always love; imagining the future.
Peo: It isn't quite like science fiction but involves more politics and personal relationships.
Reo: More about how we might live and how the future will affect us as individuals.
Peo: Rather than just the tech of it all.
Reo: Though I do love my Star Trek.
Peo: Beam me aboard Reo!
Reo: SHrrrzzzzzzzzziuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Stay in the car, stranded motorists!

Reo: I'm from the Oregon mountains, Peo is from Idaho and we know something that evidently many other people do not...
Peo: All caps buddy.
Reo: STAY IN YOUR CAR if you are stranded on a snowy road. NO MATTER WHAT. Even if you are out of gas and food. The only time you should get out is to use the toilet or to get some snow or water to drink.
Peo: You can be found on the road, not so easily in the woods.
Reo: Storms don't last forever, you will be found. Someone will come along or rescuers will fly along the roads and look for you. If you leave your car, you will die of exposure.
Peo: Tell people where you are going, your route and expected arrival time so they know where to look if you don't show up.
Reo: And pack blankets, water and food. People used to do this in the old days and have gotten away from it the last few years. Believe me, most all of central Oregon and central Idaho has NO mobile phone service.
Peo: Stay in you car.

Election Shmelection

Peo: We've been some lame ass bloggers recently.
Reo: Yeah, start a blog and get all fired-up for a couple of months and then get lazy.
Peo: Thing is, we were so stunned by the US elections that...
Reo: That we didn't know what to say. Plus, everybody and their uncle had an opinion.
Peo: So we stayed out of it. We're going to wait and see if the democrats can get anything done.
Reo: Yeah, we'll be watching them with a microscope.
Peo: By the way, Idaho went the other way.
Reo: Meaning?
Peo: Republican sweep. All statewide office holders, by good margins too, including Bill Sali, a guy other republicans called an imbecile.
Reo: I would think if a party was assured of getting their person in every office, every time that they would recruit and nominate good people, not jackasses.
Peo: Believe me Reo, the Idaho republican party has been full of jackasses for many many years.
Reo: Name names!
Peo: OK
Reo: OK? Cool!
Peo: Steve Symms, Butch Otter, Helen Chenoweth, Dirk Kempthorne, Jim Risch, Larry Craig (gay but not out), George Hansen... And some crazy school board members.
Reo: What a way to wrap-up a blog. Be good everybody.

TSA Takes Our Advice!

Peo: Yay us!
Reo: Yay you!
Peo: We are proud to see that our buddy Kip Hawley reads. The TSA now allows liquids bought in secure areas (at the gate) to be taken onto planes.
Reo: A letter Peo sent to him in August suggested as much.
Peo: Makes sense and now I can get my water.
Reo: Water!

Steve Irwin 1962-2006

Peo: Sad news today, our favorite naturalist, Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter was killed today.
Reo: He was diving and was hit by a stingray tail directly into his heart.
Peo: He was a real naturalist and cared about all animals not just the soft and furry ones.
Reo: Probably one of the best known Australians in the world. Great entertainer, wealth of knowledge, he will be missed.

Letter to TSA Regarding Banned Liquids

Assistant Secretary Kip Hawley
Transportation Security Administration

Dear Secretary Hawley,

I am writing concerning the banning of liquids and gels at all security checkpoints and aboard flights.

I am proposing an adjustment to the ban that would not compromise security. Continue to ban liquids at the checkpoints but allow beverages purchased in the boarding area aboard flights.

This would:

1. Continue to secure airplanes from potentially hazardous liquids.

2. Allow sales of beverages to continue from airport businesses.

3. Allow passengers the convenience of carrying beverages onto aircraft.

It is difficult to go many hours aboard an airplane with no other beverage than a small plastic cup, filled with ice, covered in a couple tablespoons of ginger ale. I get dehydrated easily and need to have at least a liter of water to consume aboard a 5 hour flight.

By allowing beverages purchased in the airport boarding area onto aircraft, the TSA can ensure the security of the contents of those containers without forcing passengers to go without adequate hydration.

Thank you for your time.
Yours Truly,

Peo

cc: Michael Chertoff, Homeland Security Secretary

---------------------------------------------------

Peo: What's wrong with my letter?

Reo: It's a good letter, clear and concise.

Peo: Why won't you sign it?

Reo: Because, the whole thing is a typical over-reaction by the government.

Peo: But this was a real threat...

Reo: Suppose it was. This just goes to show that the terrorists have won. Look, they cough, we jump.

Peo: And that's how it should be. We have to win every time.

Reo: Yes but banning all liquids? Come on... Dangerous substances can be in powder, solid, liquid, any form. Should we ban all carry-ons? How about just banning air travel? We are screening passengers, have air marshals, have no-fly lists, we don't need to ban every bottle of Evian. It's overkill. You just watch, the next scheme will involve Ipods. Then ALL electronic devices will be banned, including cell phones which the airlines have always wanted to keep off their planes. Flying is dangerous but a helluva lot safer than driving.

Peo: An effective way of staying one step ahead of the terrorists is to engage in activities that will act as a deterrant. By acting once we get information, we are showing the would-be killers that we can move quickly to prevent any scheme they can come up with. This will help keep their attempts smaller as they get more and more afraid of being caught. Smaller operations mean fewer deaths.

Reo: And scaring people? What good does that do?

Peo: Keeps them vigilant.

Reo: No, it keeps the government in power, not the people. If you look back at history, every time a government wants to grab more power, it uses fear. Keep the people scared so they will do what you say. Bush said last weekend that the new rules were for our own protection. When the government tells me this, THAT'S what scares me.

Gay Marriage - The President Bush Address

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Next week, the United States Senate will begin debate on a constitutional amendment that defines marriage in the United States as the union of a man and woman.

Reo: Or in most states, a man and a child.

On Monday, I will meet with a coalition of community leaders, constitutional scholars, family and civic organizations, and religious leaders. They're Republicans, Democrats, and independents who've come together to support this amendment. Today, I want to explain why I support the Marriage Protection Amendment, and why I'm urging Congress to pass it and send it to the states for ratification.

Peo: Because I tried to energize the voters with immigration and it backfired.
Reo: And this issue worked in 2004!
Peo: So now let us legislate, get ready, legislate… DIS-CRIM-I-NA-TION !
Reo: And flag burning too!

Marriage is the most enduring and important human institution, honored and encouraged in all cultures and by every religious faith.

Peo: And what could be more of a threat to this institution than two people who love and care for each other SO much that they want to join the ranks of the married themselves. Oh, that’s right, this is against gay people. So if the two people are gay, what does that have to do with anything?
Reo: If you get married…
Peo: Some day, some way.
Reo: What does it have to do with me?
Peo: Other than the toast?
Reo: Toast?
Peo: Yes, you’ll give a toast at my wedding.
Reo: Oh, I was thinking of dry heated bread.
Peo: Mmmmm.
Reo: Anyway, I am not affected in any way by YOUR marriage am I?
Peo: No.
Reo: Whether you marry a man or woman wouldn’t affect me or my marriage.
Peo: No.
Reo: So WHAT IN THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT? This is ludicrous...

Ages of experience have taught us that the commitment of a husband and a wife to love and to serve one another promotes the welfare of children and the stability of society. Marriage cannot be cut off from its cultural, religious, and natural roots without weakening this good influence on society. Government, by recognizing and protecting marriage, serves the interests of all.

Reo: Protect? Protect from what?
Peo: Terrorists!

In our free society, people have the right to choose how they live their lives. And in a free society, decisions about such a fundamental social institution as marriage should be made by the people -- not by the courts.

Peo: Courts, which are run by illegal aliens and robots!

The American people have spoken clearly on this issue, both through their representatives and at the ballot box. In 1996, Congress approved the Defense of Marriage Act by overwhelming bipartisan majorities in both the House and Senate, and President Clinton signed it into law. And since then, voters in 19 states have approved amendments to their state constitutions that protect the traditional definition of marriage. And today, 45 of the 50 states have either a state constitutional amendment or statute defining marriage as the union of a man and a woman. These amendments and laws express a broad consensus in our country for protecting the institution of marriage.

Reo: The old “protecting” word again. Scare them! Scare the people then control them!

Unfortunately, activist judges and some local officials have made an aggressive attempt to redefine marriage in recent years. Since 2004, state courts in Washington, California, Maryland, and New York have overturned laws protecting marriage in those states.

Reo: Those gay liberal states!

And in Nebraska, a federal judge overturned a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Peo: No, not Nebraska! Not a red state!
Reo: Are we safe anywhere in our homes?

These court decisions could have an impact on our whole Nation. The Defense of Marriage Act declares that no state is required to accept another state's definition of marriage. If that act is overturned by activist courts, then marriages recognized in one city or state might have to be recognized as marriages everywhere else. That would mean that every state would have to recognize marriages redefined by judges in Massachusetts or local officials in San Francisco, no matter what their own laws or state constitutions say.

Peo: Be sure and mention the gay places again.

This national question requires a national solution, and on an issue of such profound importance, that solution should come from the people, not the courts.

An amendment to the Constitution is necessary because activist courts have left our Nation with no other choice. The constitutional amendment that the Senate will consider next week would fully protect marriage from being redefined, while leaving state legislatures free to make their own choices in defining legal arrangements other than marriage. A constitutional amendment is the most democratic solution to this issue, because it must be approved by two-thirds of the House and Senate and then ratified by three-fourths of the 50 state legislatures.

Peo: OK, that’s it, let’s talk about…
Reo: Pop music?
Peo: Democracy. American democracy. This country has a history of getting caught up in a frenzy about some issue, often involving discrimination, and passing laws about the issue.
Reo: Japanese Americans.
Peo: So the third branch, the court system, looks at the issue and makes sure the new laws do not violate the Constitution.
Reo: Or they go along with it, only to our later regret.
Peo: Exactly. Here, states and localities try to pass laws that discriminate in the eyes of the judge. He or she is saying that your new law is unconstitutional. The judge didn’t make the law, the judge is invalidating it.
Reo: Gotcha.
Peo: So why is this judge activist? He or she is not. Validating an unconstitutional law is more activist because it is changing the status quo.
Reo: So he really should be railing against these conservative judges.
Peo: Yeah, these judges trying to uphold that old Constitution!

As this debate goes forward, we must remember that every American deserves to be treated with tolerance, respect, and dignity. All of us have a duty to conduct this discussion with civility and decency toward one another, and all people deserve to have their voices heard.

Reo: Therefore, the President does not support the mass deportation of gays and activist judges.
Peo: Nor the wearing of rainbow arm bands.
Reo: Which we could use to keep these gays away from our families and churches.
Peo: And away from our schools and boy scouts.
Reo: And everyone should go to a barber shop because it is less gay than a beauty shop.

A constitutional amendment will put a decision that is critical to American families and American society in the hands of the American people, which is exactly where it belongs. Democracy, not court orders, should decide the future of marriage in America.

Reo: Not critical to families, not critical to society…
Peo: The strength of democracy is protecting minorities not blindly doing the bidding of the majority.

Thank you for listening.

Reo: No, thank you for forcing another non-issue down our throats while not dealing with war, the environment, election reform, tax reform and gas prices.

Immigration - The President Bush Speech

THE PRESIDENT: Good evening. I've asked for a few minutes of your time to discuss a matter of national importance -- the reform of America's immigration system.


Peo: So would you date his daughters?
Reo: Both?
Peo: One.
Reo: Yes.
Peo: Really, even if you disagree so strongly with their father.
Reo: They’re famous.
Peo: You would date them just because their famous?
Reo: Yes, Chelsea too. In fact, I would date anyone famous.
Peo: Anyone.
Reo: Yep.
Peo: What if you didn’t find them attractive?
Reo: Famous.
Peo: What if she was really dumb and annoying.
Reo: Famous.
Peo: Dirty?
Reo: Famous.
Peo: What if she was evil?
Reo: How evil?
Peo: Pure evil.
Reo: Not pure.
Peo: Yes, pure evil: pro child abuse, tortures puppies, dues paying member of every hate group, watches Funniest Home Videos to see people get hurt…
Reo: Nope.
Peo: But really famous.
Reo: No. That would be famous for the wrong reasons.
Peo: So the right reason is famous daughter, movie star, singer, what else?
Reo: Rich and hot.

The issue of immigration stirs intense emotions, and in recent weeks, Americans have seen those emotions on display. On the streets of major cities, crowds have rallied in support of those in our country illegally.

Reo: What about the anti-war rallies?
Peo: No speech about those.

Tonight, I will make it clear where I stand…

Reo: Sitting
Peo: Shhhhhh…

We must begin by recognizing the problems with our immigration system. For decades, the United States has not been in complete control of its borders.

Peo: Centuries.

As a result, many who want to work in our economy have been able to sneak across our border, and millions have stayed.

Reo: Those sneaky bastards! Sneak sneak sneakin’!

Once here, illegal immigrants live in the shadows of our society. Many use forged documents to get jobs, and that makes it difficult for employers to verify that the workers they hire are legal.

Reo: Poor employers! All that cheap labor and they can’t even verify.

Illegal immigration puts pressure on public schools and hospitals, it strains state and local budgets, and brings crime to our communities…

Peo: OK, first off, public schools are strained from lack of resources and the number of illegal immigrants is a small percentage of students with a negligible impact on most districts. FURTHERMORE, most of these children are AMERICANS!
Reo: Yes, they were born here not pushed across the border in buggies.
Peo: Secondly, hospitals are strained and expensive because we don’t have a national health care plan which would spread the cost among a larger pool of people, namely all of them, which would reduce costs.
Reo: Health, fairly important I’d say.
Peo: Thirdly, all these immigrants pay taxes. Sales tax, property tax through rent and some pay income tax which they get back if they file a return -- because their income is so low. And since many don't pay taxes, the net effect for governemnt is that they “pay in” more than “take out”. Hardly a strain.
Reo: Andromeda Strain was a cool movie.
Peo: And lastly.
Reo: More tirades?
Peo: Lastly, crime is a part of all communities. There is no statistic saying it is any worse with immigrants.

Yet we must remember that the vast majority of illegal immigrants are decent people who work hard, support their families, practice their faith, and lead responsible lives. They are a part of American life, but they are beyond the reach and protection of American law.

Peo: Scare them -- reassure them. Scare them, and then reassure them.

We're a nation of laws…

Reo: And junk food.

We're also a nation of immigrants, and we must uphold that tradition, which has strengthened our country in so many ways.

Peo: Except for the health of the Native Americans.
Reo: Yeah, it weakened their health in so many ways.

These are not contradictory goals.

Peo and Reo: Gooooooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllllllssssss!

We will fix the problems created by illegal immigration…

Peo: Problems?
Reo: Are they going to un-fix all the things fixed by their cheap labor.

First, the United States must secure its borders. This is a basic responsibility of a sovereign nation. It is also an urgent requirement of our national security. Our objective is straightforward: The border should be open to trade and lawful immigration, and shut to illegal immigrants, as well as criminals, drug dealers, and terrorists.

Peo: Basically, he is grouping immigrants in with terrorists.
Reo: Be subtle W, be subtle!

I was a governor of a state that has a 1,200-mile border with Mexico. So I know how difficult it is to enforce the border…

Reo: Dude, you’re President. You don’t need to tout your experience as governor anymore. You’ve been President for 5 years.

Despite this progress, we do not yet have full control of the border, and I am determined to change that. Tonight I'm calling on Congress to provide funding for dramatic improvements in manpower and technology at the border.

Peo and Reo: Man POWER!

At the same time, we're launching the most technologically advanced border security initiative in American history. We will construct high-tech fences in urban corridors, and build new patrol roads and barriers in rural areas. We'll employ motion sensors, infrared cameras, and unmanned aerial vehicles to prevent illegal crossings. America has the best technology in the world…

Peo: That’s why we are finally employing technology available since the 1970s!

Training thousands of new Border Patrol agents and bringing the most advanced technology to the border will take time.

Reo: Just look at Iraq.

Yet the need to secure our border is urgent. So I'm announcing several immediate steps to strengthen border enforcement during this period of transition:

One way to help during this transition is to use the National Guard. So, in coordination with governors, up to 6,000 Guard members will be deployed to our southern border. The Border Patrol will remain in the lead. The Guard will assist the Border Patrol by operating surveillance systems, analyzing intelligence, installing fences and vehicle barriers, building patrol roads, and providing training. Guard units will not be involved in direct law enforcement activities -- that duty will be done by the Border Patrol. This initial commitment of Guard members would last for a period of one year. After that, the number of Guard forces will be reduced as new Border Patrol agents and new technologies come online. It is important for Americans to know that we have enough Guard forces to win the war on terror, to respond to natural disasters, and to help secure our border.

The United States is not going to militarize the southern border. Mexico is our neighbor, and our friend. We will continue to work cooperatively to improve security on both sides of the border, to confront common problems like drug trafficking and crime, and to reduce illegal immigration…

Reo: But will the Guard be under civilian or military command?
Peo: This is sounding pretty good.
Reo: The military marching on our border, are you kidding?
Peo: He said he isn’t gong to militarize the border.
Reo: And what makes you think you can believe him?
Peo: That’s true.

The steps I've outlined will improve our ability to catch people entering our country illegally. At the same time, we must ensure that every illegal immigrant we catch crossing our southern border is returned home. More than 85 percent of the illegal immigrants we catch crossing the southern border are Mexicans, and most are sent back home within 24 hours. But when we catch illegal immigrants from other country it is not as easy to send them home. For many years, the government did not have enough space in our detention facilities to hold them while the legal process unfolded.

Reo: Because they are filled with offenders of minor drug laws.

So most were released back into our society and asked to return for a court date. When the date arrived, the vast majority did not show up. This practice, called "catch and release," is unacceptable, and we will end it.

Peo: We will now eat our catch.
Reo: And we cut to Alton Brown as he shows us how to cook people on a gas grill.

We're taking several important steps to meet this goal. We've expanded the number of beds in our detention facilities, and we will continue to add more.

Peo: People per bed.
Reo: Ahhh yeah!

We've expedited the legal process to cut the average deportation time. And we're making it clear to foreign governments that they must accept back their citizens who violate our immigration laws. As a result of these actions, we've ended "catch and release" for illegal immigrants from some countries. And I will ask Congress for additional funding and legal authority, so we can end "catch and release" at the southern border once and for all.

Peo: If he says “catch and release” one more time…

Second, to secure our border, we must create a temporary worker program. The reality is that there are many people on the other side of our border who will do anything to come to America to work and build a better life. They walk across miles of desert in the summer heat, or hide in the back of 18-wheelers to reach our country.

Peo: Which makes them…
Reo: Friggin’ awesome in my book. It’s what this country is all about.

This creates enormous pressure on our border that walls and patrols alone will not stop.

Reo: Berlin.
Peo: Palestine.

To secure the border effectively, we must reduce the numbers of people trying to sneak across.

Peo: There’s that “sneak” word again.
Reo: Americans hate sneaky people. They’d rather have someone come into their yard and say “I’m taking your lawn mower” than sneak over and take it.
Peo: That is the weirdest analogy you’ve ever made.

Therefore, I support a temporary worker program that would create a legal path for foreign workers to enter our country in an orderly way, for a limited period of time. This program would match willing foreign workers with willing American employers for jobs Americans are not doing. Every worker who applies for the program would be required to pass criminal background checks. And temporary workers must return to their home country at the conclusion of their stay.

Peo: Why return? If they do work no one here would do…
Reo: And do it well…
Peo: And we need them…
Reo: And they work hard…
Peo: Then when is it that we suddenly stop needing them and they have to return home?

A temporary worker program would meet the needs of our economy, and it would give honest immigrants a way to provide for their families while respecting the law…

Reo: The honest ones, not the sneaks!

…Third, we need to hold employers to account for the workers they hire. It is against the law to hire someone who is in this country illegally. Yet businesses often cannot verify the legal status of their employees because of the widespread problem of document fraud.

Peo: The President would like to emphasize, that it is not the employers fault.

Therefore, comprehensive immigration reform must include a better system for verifying documents and work eligibility. A key part of that system should be a new identification card for every legal foreign worker. This card should use biometric technology, such as digital fingerprints, to make it tamper-proof…

Peo: First the illegal immigrants get a fingerprint card, then all immigrants and visitors. Then children, ya know, for safety. Then old people, ya know, for health.
Reo: And the next thing you know, we have radio IDs implanted under our skin.
Peo: Only those people with something to hide need fear the implants. We only monitor those engaging in illegal activity. Such as dissention.
Reo: 1984.
Peo: I love the 80s.

Fourth, we must face the reality that millions of illegal immigrants are here already. They should not be given an automatic path to citizenship. This is amnesty, and I oppose it. Amnesty would be unfair to those who are here lawfully, and it would invite further waves of illegal immigration.

Some in this country argue that the solution is to deport every illegal immigrant,

Reo: Starting with Dubya.

and that any proposal short of this amounts to amnesty. I disagree. It is neither wise, nor realistic to round up millions of people, many with deep roots in the United States, and send them across the border…

…I believe that illegal immigrants who have roots in our country and want to stay should have to pay a meaningful penalty for breaking the law, to pay their taxes, to learn English, and to work in a job for a number of years. People who meet these conditions should be able to apply for citizenship, but approval would not be automatic, and they will have to wait in line behind those who played by the rules and followed the law. What I've just described is not amnesty, it is a way for those who have broken the law to pay their debt to society, and demonstrate the character that makes a good citizen.

Fifth, we must honor the great American tradition of the melting pot, which has made us one nation out of many peoples.

Reo: I thought the Swiss were famous for the fondue pot.
Peo: Are we up to fifth already?
Reo: Yeah, this is the good part!

The success of our country depends upon helping newcomers assimilate into our society, and embrace our common identity as Americans. Americans are bound together by our shared ideals, an appreciation of our history, respect for the flag we fly, and an ability to speak and write the English language. English is also the key to unlocking the opportunity of America. English allows newcomers to go from picking crops to opening a grocery, from cleaning offices to running offices, from a life of low-paying jobs to a diploma, a career, and a home of their own. When immigrants assimilate and advance in our society, they realize their dreams, they renew our spirit, and they add to the unity of America.

Peo: Who cares about English?
Reo: A guy who never traveled overseas in his life, or to Canada for that matter, till he became U.S. President.
Peo: Americans need to travel more overseas.
Reo: And not just as soldiers.

Tonight, I want to speak directly to members of the House and the Senate…

Peo: On national television.
Reo: Because my phone doesn’t work and it’s too far to walk to the Senate office building.

Feelings run deep on this issue, and as we work it out, all of us need to keep some things in mind. We cannot build a unified country by inciting people to anger, or playing on anyone's fears, or exploiting the issue of immigration for political gain.

Reo: Which, us here in the White House would NEVER think of doing every friggin’ day since September 11, 2001.
Peo: Isn’t it weird that it’s called the “white” house.
Reo: That’s a welcoming message to immigrants.

We must always remember that real lives will be affected by our debates and decisions, and that every human being has dignity and value no matter what their citizenship papers say.

Peo: No one doubts that.

I know many of you listening tonight have a parent or a grandparent who came here from another country with dreams of a better life.

Reo: Everyone listening off the reservation.

You know what freedom meant to them, and you know that America is a more hopeful country because of their hard work and sacrifice. As President, I've had the opportunity to meet people of many backgrounds, and hear what America means to them. On a visit to Bethesda Naval Hospital, Laura and I met a wounded Marine named Guadalupe Denogean.

Reo: Or as I, the master of nicknames, call him, Loopy de Loo.

Master Gunnery Sergeant Denogean came to the United States from Mexico when he was a boy. He spent his summers picking crops with his family, and then he volunteered for the United States Marine Corps as soon as he was able. During the liberation of Iraq, Master Gunnery Sergeant Denogean was seriously injured. And when asked if he had any requests, he made two: a promotion for the corporal who helped rescue him, and the chance to become an American citizen.

Peo: Clean our buildings, pick our crops, wash our cars, watch our kids and oh yeah, DEFEND OUR COUNTRY for us.

We will always be proud to welcome people like Guadalupe Denogean as fellow Americans. Our new immigrants are just what they've always been -- people willing to risk everything for the dream of freedom. And America remains what she has always been: the great hope on the horizon, an open door to the future, a blessed and promised land. We honor the heritage of all who come here, no matter where they come from, because we trust in our country's genius for making us all Americans -- one nation under God.

Thank you, and good night.

Peo: Three more years.

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